How Might Inner Healing Change Your Life?

You might think that growing up on a farm and ranch as part of a large family would be delightful.  Well, let me tell you… it wasn’t so for me, at least most of the time.

Don’t get me wrong. There were happy times….like going to the Ice Capades show and to Disneyland and to Colorado and Florida. At Halloween we wore decorated paper bags over our heads and trick or treated at our house…only at our house, nowhere else.

7 Years of Bad Luck

My childhood was riddled with pain….pain from my emotions as well as pain from bodily injuries caused by accidents….one per year during my first 7 years of school.

I remember writing a paper for school about my 7 years of bad luck. And the accidents didn’t stop when my childhood ended. They continued for many years after I was long gone from the farm and ranch.

Why was it that I had so many accidents while that wasn’t true for any of my 6 siblings?

Could it be because I was the middle child?  3 older kids and 3 younger ones and I was right in the middle. You’ve heard of the middle child syndrome, right?

As I mentioned in a previous post, I grew up very shy. Sucking my thumb was my comfort as I lay my head against a velvety throw on the sofa.

Well, it was my comfort until I was shamed out of it at the age of 5 when Mama took my picture as I sucked my thumb.

Was that when I first felt so unloved? I don’t know, but it’s as far back as I can remember.

A Strict Upbringing

I felt that Mama was much too strict. She had very definite rules for her daughters….

–    no wearing shorts except in physical education class
–    no wearing  pants on Sundays

Those are the ones I remember. I’m sure there were more. With each younger child, the rules were slackened.

Mama was very religious…so religious that she told me she would disown me if I married outside the Catholic Church!  Ouch!

I think that remark was made after she told me I could not accept a date invitation from a boy I’d met at a dance. He was the son of a Baptist preacher.

How loved would feel if your mother told you she’d disown you if you didn’t marry in the church of her choice?

Mama was the one who spanked us when we disobeyed. Not Daddy. He was gone most of the time, busy with the demands of his properties.

Lonely in the Country

I was lonely out there, 12 miles away from the little town where I went to school and had friends. Summers were especially lonely. I longed for school to begin so I could finally see my friends again.

Even though I had so many brothers and sisters, there was a wide spread of ages.  I played mostly with my older brother, Eddie, who was closest in age to me.

Then Daddy started taking Eddie to work with him. But not me….because I was a girl.

When I was 16, the youngest child of my parents was born.  At birth Pamela was already an aunt of 2 nieces and a nephew who were the children of my oldest sister, Gloria, the first born child of my parents.

When I was hurt by unkind words and deeds of my older siblings, Gloria was the one who comforted me. Not Mama. I was sad when Gloria went away to college. Who would comfort me now?

I didn’t feel like I belonged in this family. As an adolescent I was sure I was adopted.

Did you feel that way, too? I pray that you didn’t.

I pray that your parents hugged you every day and told you that they loved you. And that they gave you as much attention as you deserved so that you never were plagued by self defeating behaviors that were your subconscious way to get attention.

After suffering for years from accidents that resulted in broken bones, sprained ankles, stitches, etc. I finally realized that my subconscious mind was controlling me. When I had accidents, I got attention.

Are you subconsciously seeking attention?

My realization about my subconscious mind came to me at a self growth camp. I’m so grateful to my teachers there who helped me discover what I didn’t know. I needed inner healing.

A Changed Life

For years I didn’t like heart graphics. Now I love them. I’ve even written songs about love, and the heart graphic will play a large role on the website of my song, ‘Fill My Heart With Love’.

Mama and Daddy have passed away. They were good people with lots of friends. At family funerals I hear so much praise for my parents.

From Mama I learned to be considerate of others and to respect  employees. She was nice to her peers and also to people of lower social status.

From Daddy’s actions I learned that speaking less can be a good thing. He didn’t waste words. I’m a better listener than I am a speaker. Strangers open up to me with their life stories.

Although now I’m sure Mama and Daddy loved me, they didn’t tell me when I was a child. And they didn’t hug me.

As I recollect, it wasn’t until I went away to college that I was hugged. While at college, I received letters signed “Love, Mother”, and I received hugs when I returned home and then departed from visits with my family.

When I achieved good grades and special recognitions at school, they didn’t praise me.

So for years I didn’t praise others, including my employees. I regret that. They deserved my praise. Everyone deserves recognition for doing well.

Why do I bring up a past that brings tears to my eyes as I write this?

Because I don’t want another child to feel unloved.

Love is so vital for life.

Remember to hug your children often and tell them you love them. Give them all the attention they need. Don’t let them be victims of self defeating behaviors.

I don’t want another person to feel unloved. Keep in touch with all your loved ones and tell them you love them. Don’t repeat mistakes like my parents made. They were probably repeating how they were treated as children.

It’s time for you to overcome a past that’s keeping you from living a life of love and peace and abundance.

How do you do that?

Get inspired by these lyrics from my song, ’Uplifted and Inspired’:

Take action now.
It’s all up to you.
Be remembered for
all the good that you do
when you’re uplifted and inspired.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It’ll take more than that verse to get you going.

So here’s your next step. Grant yourself access to change. Unlock your mind.

Do it now.  Click the link: Unlock your mind

Discover how inner healing can change your life.

Till next time…

Wishing you peace, joy and love,

Joyce Marie
Founder, LessonsFromLyrics.com

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